Trolley pushing isle by isle, picking grocery items from your list in the supermarket, your five year old daughter excitedly points and exclaims, “Mommy, mommy!” Please may I have that toy?!. “No darling, a toy is not on our list today,” you reply firmly.

In the blink of an eye your ears and everyone else’s in your vicinity are ringing as your daughter launches into a full-on tantrum, kicking and screaming on the floor in disobedient rebellion as she did not get her way and all the “judgmental” shoppers eyes are on YOU.

Many of us can identify with this scene. We also know that such behaviour will not be tolerated when she is an adult at work one day so it will require discipline in order for her to obey your instructions as a parent. God expects us to discipline our children as we train and instruct them and they must obey us.

Colossians 3:20 NIV
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

We mustn’t confuse the instruction for a wife to submit to her husband with being obedient to her husband. If a child is disobedient, discipline is required for them to change their behaviour.

A wife has to willingly submit to her husband, it is her responsibility. The Word says “Wives, submit,” a clear indication of this. A husband cannot make his wife submit to him. There is no such thing as “disciplining ” a wife until she submits.

Colossians 3:18 NIV
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

A husband’s responsibility in this case is to lovingly help his wife by encouraging and teaching her the Word of God in the hope that she is convicted, by “the washing of water through the Word”.

Ephesians 5:25-27 NIV
[25] Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her [26] to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, [27] and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

A wife’s responsibility is submit to her husband as if she is submitting to The Lord, that alone should be enough to convict her.