You call your husband but he fails to answer his phone. It’s 3pm on a Friday afternoon, you’re now late for the function. Your toes have begun to pinch in your new high heels as you pace up and down in your ball gown as it sways vigorously from side to side, sweeping the floor with swishing sounds. The front door swings open at 4pm, it’s your husband gasping for air as he rushes into the house apologizing profusely, “Please don’t be mad! I got caught in a crisis at the office and in the chaos forgot to call to tell you that I am running late! There was no way I could just leave! Please forgive me!? It won’t happen again! I promise!”
It’s your friend’s wedding and you did not want to miss her entrance into the chapel. You graciously agreed, against your better judgment, to let him “pop” into the office, on his word that he would return in good time. He knew how much it meant to you to be there for her wedding ceremony.
You are deeply disappointed.
Still you have to go to your friend’s wedding and sit next to your husband, be civil, smiley and enjoy the wedding.
We have all felt like this at times. The reality is that your husband is going to make little mistakes that disappoint you, not once, not twice, but many times. Sometimes intentionally, other times not.
The importance is, as believers, how do you recover from disappointments like these without it causing a serious breakdown in your marriage?
1. Allow your husband to make mistakes. This is not saying allow him to sin repeatedly and unrepentantly in the same area, but extend him grace when he disappoints.
2. Be upset, feel disappointed, but also forgive him and work through it together. These may seem like small disappointments but if left “untreated” can escalate to a much bigger issue.
Most importantly put your hope in the Lord, not in your husband. In Isaiah 49:3 NIV is says “those who hope in the Lord will not be disappointed.”
God always keeps His word, He does not forget, He is not distracted by a crisis, He fulfills His promises. If we put our hope in our husbands we will be disappointed, even if they try their level best to please us one hundred percent of the time.
Another reality is that you will similarly disappoint your husband and expect him to extend the same grace to you.