There is a knock at the door, a middle-aged woman unlocks and opens it. On the doorstep stands a young man in his early twenties. Neatly clothed in a crisp white shirt, a blue jeans and matching sneakers, he reaches out his hand to shake hers and nervously blurts out “Hi Mam, I’ve been told you are my real mom.” She recognizes him instantly, all these years his adoptive mom had kept her up to date with photographs. She never expected though that he would just show up like this without any warning! She breaks out into a cold sweat with the realization that her husband is standing right behind her having heard every word of her long-kept secret. The shock, disbelief and pain is so evident on his face as her turns towards her and exclaims, “This can’t be true!!” He storms out of the house and begins to run and run and run until she can no longer see him in the distance. Her body shakes uncontrollably as she sobs, the gravity of what she has hidden from her husband all these years now overwhelming her.
Don’t bump into your past with your husband by your side and he is caught by surprise.
Non-disclosure of your past to your husband-to-be before marriage is very dangerous and vice versa.
The enemy will prowl around your marriage in various forms when you want to do marriage God’s way, looking for ways to destroy it. Non-disclosure of your past is one way and he can use and it can present itself at any time in your marriage and leave you feeling cheated and as though you do not know the person you are married to or that you married the wrong person. Take the enemy’s power away by going into your marriage” naked and unashamed” before one another. Don’t give the enemy the power to bring destruction into your marriage through things that you and your husband should have disclosed to one another before marriage.
Genesis 2:25 NIV
Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
The past cannot harm you if it is disclosed and discussed with your spouse and covered by the precious blood of Jesus. The enemy can no longer hold you to ransom.
Be naked and unashamed about;
1. your past mistakes that you are not proud of;
2. your past relationships and the depth thereof, intimate (which creates soul ties) or not;
3. whether you come from an abused past or an abusive past;
4. whether you have been married before;
5. any children you may have parented;
6. your educational history;
7. your financial position, assets and level of any debt and history;
8. any criminal records;
9. any current or pending legal action;
10. your credit history, any sequestrations, judgements against or credit listings;
11. your medical history including your family’s;
12. your career or business history;
13. your family history including whether you were adopted, from a broken family or an abusive family and so forth;
14. your spiritual history and whether you have hopped from one church to the next and why;
15. whether you have false teeth, wear contact lenses, your original natural hair colour and so on;
16. whether you have a driver’s license, a valid birth certificate, a valid passport and identification document and any other necessary legal documents;
17. Believable evidence of honesty regarding the above.
No matter how difficult it may be, always give the other person the chance to walk away after full-disclosure. If they stay, they truly love you and can then never ever hold it against you.
Then pray about it, commit it to God, break any curses that need to be broken, severe any soul ties that need to be severed and seal forever what needs to be sealed under the blood of Jesus.