“You are 31 years old and single?” is a question that I get very often.   Yes, I am a 31-year-old happy and fulfilled single lady who looks forward to marriage.   I have deliberately chosen to use my season of being single to prepare a solid foundation for my future marriage.  In the construction of buildings, they consider foundations to either be shallow or deep.  A tall building must have a deep and strong foundation if it is to stand for a long time.   So, I encourage all singles not to waste the season in discontent, desperation and discouragement but rather, to use the single season as a time to intentionally get solid! I am grateful for this opportunity to share the various ways that I have been preparing for my marriage and I hope to offer some beneficial tips to my fellow singles.  Ten ways of preparing are as follows:


  • Personal Healing
    • Many singles have unresolved pain, childhood wounds and deeply entrenched scars from traumatic events. The season of being single is a season to seek help through counseling, pastoral guidance, prayer and any other helpful ways to get healed.  Personally, I have benefited from professional counseling.
  • Discover your Purpose
    • The late Dr. Myles Munroe defined purpose as the original intent for one’s creation. Do you know why you exist?  Personally, I have discovered my purpose and launched out as an author, speaker and entrepreneur.  Purpose does not wait for a wedding ring!
  • Grow Spiritually
    • I encourage all singles to develop sold spiritual disciplines. Learn how to pray, read the Word of God, fast, serve in the church and fellowship with other believers.
  • Develop the Discipline of Sexual Morality
    • I encourage singles to abstain from fornication, pornography, masturbation and immorality. Sexual morality is a discipline that must be practiced whilst single because it will be required in marriage.
  • Develop Self-Love
    • I encourage singles to address all insecurities, low self-esteem, rejection, negative self-talk and self-hatred before marriage. A good way of developing healthy form self –love is through an intimate relationship with God.
  • Educational and Career Advancement
    • The season of being single is a season to enhance your knowledge base. Personally, I have obtained an undergraduate degree, master’s degree, and bible school diploma.  Now, I am enrolling for my PHD.   I am also developing my career and developing my entrepreneurial endeavors.
  • Study Godly Marriages
    • I have spent time learning from happily married couples and I have spent time discovering God’s intent for marriage. Last year, I attended a marriage conference to gain some practical knowledge on the realities of marriage.
  • Develop Hobbies and Interests
    • Be intentional about developing hobbies and interests that enhance your creativity. You can learn photography, gardening, a new sport, new language, new musical instrument or jewelry making! Personally, I am an avid Barcelona soccer fan.  If you want to become more interesting, develop more interests!
  • Develop Relational Excellence
    • I encourage singles to learn about personality types, love languages and basic things about the opposite sex. Relational experts and authors such as Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend and Gary Chapman have written books that can help you relationally.
  • Become Health Conscious
    • I encourage singles to become more intentional about their health. Personally, I have a good gym routine and I consume a healthy diet.  As soon as I wake up, I drink 60ml of Aloe Vera juice and I take my daily dose of multi – vitamins.


Preparation time is valuable time that increases the likelihood of marital success and positions you to be found by the right spouse.   I encourage all singles to embrace the season with joy and fulfillment!