Unpack the suitcases, sit down, throw your pride out the window and send out an SOS!


You may have started off by packing the black bags when you were fairly newly married as perhaps you could not yet afford suitcases, when you and your husband argued and couldn’t make headway to resolve your marital issues. You may now have progressed to actual suitcases. When you have packed your suitcases for the umpteenth time, left, returned home and repeat, but you really don’t want to leave your husband permanently because there is no biblical justification in your case, it is time to get over your pride and ask for help. Your marriage is worth fighting for and full restoration is possible through Christ.

As stubborn as we can become due to the prideful attitude of “No-one is going to tell me what to do”, if that view worked, you wouldn’t be packing your bags out of frustration in the first place.

The enemy likes to isolate us from those who can help us so that he can destroy us by keeping us in a miserable marriage, which has the possibility to thrive, through pride or disobedience, never reaching God’s best for us so He can use us for His purposes.

John 10:10 NIV
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

God created us for relationship and a sense of community and sometimes we need to use that when we have done all we can and we find ourselves in the same place we so desperately long to move forward from. God uses people to draw us closer to Him and He does the same to help heal or grow marriages. Ask Him, who you should approach for help or see 1 Timothy 3:1-13 NIV for some of the qualities for leaders which you can also equate to counselors.

You clearly aren’t getting anywhere using your own methods, except wasting time, just the two of you miserably trudging along in circles, on your own until the next time someone packs their bags or this time never returns when beyond the help you may have stayed and never regretted doing so because the marriage you always wanted was finally birthed when you reached out for the lifeline God sends through people when He answers your SOS.

Proverbs 15:22 NIV
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

Now, please don’t look for counselors who will tell you what you want to hear, don’t counsel hop!

Ask God who you should approach for help, who you can trust with your marriage struggles and receive from best. Also see 1 Timothy 3:1-13 NIV for guidance to the characteristics and qualities of leaders which you can also look for in counselors.

Sometimes, it may take a few different counselors to walk with you at different seasons to help you finally get the breakthrough you need that will come through conviction by the Holy Spirit, the divine intervention you needed that was facilitated through the human intervention of counselors.


It has worked for us and many others and it will work for you, if you are both teachable and willing to follow sound biblical advice.

So the next time you are packing your suitcases make sure it is to go on holiday together.