Invisible walls are great! No-one can see them, so no-one will know they are there, we may reckon. And this may very well be true for awhile but pretense is hard work and appearances can’t be kept up indefinitely, it will eventually become obvious.
It is quite natural to erect these invisible walls, we all do them from time to time. They are a human form of protection for fear of being hurt, fear of being unacceptable as we are. A barrier against being controlled or cloned into someone we don’t want to be somewhere in a dungeon, or forced to do things we may not want to do with an in-law cracking a whip now that we have already given up our surnames for that of our husbands! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!
The mention of the words “in-laws” can cause us to erect extra strong walls reinforced with steel in an instant, even before we get married.
These are all very real fears, but are they valid?
One shocking and sobering thought a very wise friend once said, “Your husband loves his family. If you can’t love and accept his family, you do not really love your husband, you just lust after him.”
We have every reason to work at our relationship with our in-laws if we love our husbands, even if we don’t get along with our in-laws for no fault of our own, this is real sometimes, we must live peaceably with our in-laws as far as it concerns us. We may be pleasantly surprised that they have the same fears about us.
Romans 12:18 NIV
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
The ideal would be to have a greater relationship with our in-laws than just loving them from afar and living peaceably with them, if they want that too, or for the sake of our children.
We can break down the walls down by;
- Responding and behaving in a way that does not stir up conflict.
- Treating our in-laws well in accordance with the Word of God.
- Being led by the Holy Spirit in our relationship with our in-laws when difficulties arise.
- Prayer – Praying for our in-laws and asking our Heavenly Father to pave the way for a wonderful relationship with them.
- Faith – Replacing our real fears with faith and they will become completely invalid.
- Hope – Having hope that our relationship with our in-laws will be as desired. Hebrews 11:1 KJV Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
- Love – Loving our in-laws as we love ourselves.
The love of Christ in us, should make even the strongest impenetrable walls breakable over time.
Sources: NIV Life Application Study Bible