SINGLE AND PREPARING: PART II by guest, author and speaker Carol Shereni


Imagine…that the day you have waited for finally arrives. It’s the delightful day that you walk into your newly built dream house! The dream that once lingered in the crevices of your imagination finally becomes a reality. You built the house with much passion, sweat and tears but within a few years of living in the house, you encounter cracks in the walls, sagging floors and warped ceilings. After seeking expert advice from the structural engineer, you are informed of the devastating news that foundation failure is the cause of the structural damage to your dream house.

None of us would desire that scenario, would we? But unfortunately, in today’s society, many marriages are structurally damaged because of improper guidance and poor self-development during the foundational stage of singleness. I encourage you, fellow singles, to empower yourselves with wisdom and knowledge before entering the season of marriage. It’s a great honor for me to share 10 more tips to singles on ways to solidify your foundations in preparation for the exciting season of marriage.

▪ Develop Leadership Skills
o In the book, ‘The 21 Indispensable Qualities of A Leader’ John .C. Maxwell, highlights important qualities that every leader should develop. The 21 qualities include: commitment, competence, courage and responsibility. I encourage singles to develop personal leadership skills and to discover personal leadership style.
▪ Develop Emotional Intelligence
o In the book, ‘Emotional Intelligence’ by Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is defined as the ability to recognize, understand and manage our own emotions and the emotions of other people. A high EQ improves communication, diffuses conflicts, reduces stress and improves the overall quality of your relationships.
▪ Improve Your Personal Hygiene
o I encourage singles to develop habits and standards of personal cleanliness and sanitation. Personal hygiene includes: oral hygiene, ear hygiene, hair hygiene, foot hygiene, skincare and daily bathing habits.
▪ Discover Your Personal Style
o Your fashion sense communicates who you are to others. It is an outward expression of your inward character and personality. Discovering your authentic self is a major part of developing your personal style.
▪ Develop An Interest In Current Affairs
o I enjoy watching News channels, for example, CNN and BBC, and I enjoy reading newspapers everyday so that I can remain informed on world events and current affairs. My fellow singles, do not be ignorant. Be current, be relevant and be updated.
▪ Gain Exposure
o Travel the world, create fun memories, embrace new life experiences and learn about different cultures! Personally, I enjoy gaining global exposure because it enriches my overall perspective on life.
▪ Develop Homemaking Skills
o I encourage all singles to possess basic knowledge of cooking, cleaning and gardening. I also encourage singles to gain some basic knowledge about childcare in preparation for the season of parenting.
▪ Increase Self–Awareness
o There is an Ancient Greek aphorism that says, “know thyself.” Self-awareness is simply: knowing yourself. I encourage singles to have a clear knowledge of personal strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, personality, beliefs and emotions.
▪ Learn Conflict Resolution Techniques
o I encourage singles to learn about different resolution strategies that can be employed in times of marital conflict. Some strategies include: seeking wise counselors, avoiding character assassination, apologizing quickly and fighting fair.
▪ Develop Healthy Financial Management Habits
o Money is one of the major causes of friction in most marriages; so, before you get married, develop healthy financial management habits. Learn how to tithe, budget, invest and save money.

Singleness is an opportunity to grow, develop and discover oneself. It’s also a time to build solid foundations in preparation for the wonderful season of marriage!