Wifehood and Motherhood

Recently I had a question about how to cope with house work and very young kids under the age of three as well as balancing being a great mom and a great wife at the same time. I attempt to answer as a wife and mother of three and all their extra murals and social lives. It can be a challenge if I am not wise with the time God has given me and He thought 24hrs in a day (including sleep and rest) was all I needed to be the Proverbs 31 woman I choose to be. 

Balancing being a great mom and a great wife can be done effectively. Often times it’s guilt that makes us “condemn ourselves” to a life of doing everything for everyone and not prioritizing our time. We also have plenty of time wasters devouring it which we never make the effort to cut out of our day. If we follow principles from God’s Word we should be able to do both. 

Therefore instead of immediately giving a list of tips here are a few principles that I think can help us all use our time wisely:

✅Time is a precious resource God has given us and we must use it wisely like any other resource. He has given us enough time in His wisdom to do that which is important in every season of life. It is we who must learn to steward time wisely and therefore we need to apply His principles. See Matthew 25 – the parable of the talents about wise stewardship of all the resources God has given us.

✅Understand your primary purpose/roles God created you for as a wife and mother: 

• Firstly as a wife it is being a helper to your husband; 
• Secondly as a giver of life and mother it is to raise your kids in the fear of the Lord together with your husband; 
• every other role comes after these two roles as wife first and mother second and they should be our priority after God. See Genesis 1 and 2.

✅Understand the season you are in as a wife and as a mother at the same time. For example there are seasons when kids need a lot more of your time than your husband because they are small or ill and fully dependent on you, as long and you also know when those seasons end whilst at the same time not completely neglecting your husband. You both must  share the responsibility of that season. ?Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:?

✅ Prioritize what is important to your purpose as a wife and as a mother within the season you find yourself. Serving take-out food or you not being able to cook every day and allowing someone else to cook for that season, whilst you see to your kids or rest is hardly going to count against your purpose as being a good wife or starve your husband. I also can’t think of any reason why your husband would find this unreasonable. Also a clean house versus a healthy, contented new-born baby and relaxed mom, there is no contest. 

✅ Say “NO” to that which is not a priority for that purpose for that season. For example going to a friend’s birthday party is not a priority in a season with new-born children. Sometimes “NO” is a very good answer. Also taking your kids to every birthday party they get invited to is not key to raising them in the fear of the Lord if you are unable to. Do it guilt-free because you have a very clear conscience. 

✅ Evaluate your time and get rid of the activities that waste your time. 

✅ Accept help from those who offer when you need help such as trusted family and friends.

✅ Outsource help to a home assistant if you can afford to. It’s ok! You can even cut down on luxuries or non-essentials to do this. If not, hubby has to help until such a season you are able to. Trust God together for such a season. ?Proverbs 31:15 NIV She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.?

✅ Pray for God’s strength, grace and refreshment through every season. Never forget this!

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