A marriage build on the sandy foundation of this world’s wisdom is destined to crumble and crash when the storms of life come. A marriage build on the solid rock foundation of God’s Word will thrive and survive.
Matthew 7:24-27 NIV
 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
Why is it then that so many still choose a sandy foundation?
Because it is easy…
It is easy to build your marriage on the sandy wisdom of this world. Dying to self is hard, unpopular and it requires great sacrifice of “me, myself and I”.
You need to “dig up”, repent, unlearn and turn completely away from wrong thinking and wrong behaviors and then rebuild, from the foundation stage, on the correct teaching of the Word of God.
So what is the solid foundation of the Word of God for marriage?
We need to start by getting the basics right, and there are a few basic instructions on marriage which if both husband and wife do, there will be no need for divorce because all the additional instructions God gives in His Word we will seek out and follow naturally as we desire more of the solid foundation to strengthen our marriages.
The solid rock foundation of the basics of marriage is found in;
Ephesians 5: 22-33 NIV;
1. Husbands must leave their parents and cleave to their wives which means the wife becomes No.1 in his life, after God, not his parents, although they must still be honoured but they need not be obeyed at the expense of his wife;
2. Husbands must lead their wives;
3. Wives are to be helpers to their husbands;
4. Wives must respect their husbands;
5. Husbands must love their wives as Christ loved the church;
6. Wives must submit to their husbands.
In contrast the sandy foundation of the wisdom of this world misinterprets this in many ways but broadly as follows, beginning with the word “I”;
1. I will cleave to my wife as far as my parents will allow. There are certain things I can’t stand up to my parents as they won’t understand. If it affects my wife and she is unhappy, there is nothing I can do, she must live with it;
2. I will control my wife, she must do as I says because I am in charge;
3. I am a busy person too, my husband must understand I can’t help him as well;
4. I will respect him when he steps up to my expectations and deserves my respect;
5. I will love my wife when she behaves the way I expect her to behave;
6. I am not going to be a submitted wife, its equivalent to being a doormat.
When you build your marriage on the sandy foundation of worldly wisdom which is foolish in God’s eyes, you must expect it to crumble and ultimately crash, that’s how the enemy designed it.
1 Corinthians 3:18 NIV
Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise.
Be encouraged to dig up the sandy foundation of your marriage and begin rebuilding it on the solid rock of God’s instructions.
It is very possible, with the Rock of Ages! With Him, all things are possible.
It doesn’t mean it will never falter, but it will never crumble and crash because the foundation is strong.
It is not an overnight change, but if you keep at it, it will be a lasting change.