Marriage is meant to transform us to be more like Jesus.
When change needs to take place in us in order to grow as godly wives, and we are blinded by our own self-righteousness and stubbornness, expecting our husbands to change or grow first or just accept us the way we are, is a recipe for disaster.
We cannot force our husbands to change or grow, only the Word of God and His power can.
What we can do is be obedient and allow the Holy Spirit to change or grow us whilst we pray for our husbands. We may find that the bigger part of the problem perhaps lies with us.
Our conduct then, as true godly wives may then inspire our husbands to want to change or grow as well.
We are each responsible for our own transformation into Christlikeness.
Galatians 6:4-5 NIV
 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,  for each one should carry their own load.